Two stages of my life that proved this phenomenon:
Primary school:
I was liked, adored and was given special attention as a student during my primary school for two reasons. 1) I was the curious, ready to learn, and disciplined student. 2) I was discarded (almost bullied) by my peers. So the only reason I went to school was to impress my teachers. And, it went hand-in-hand. The better I got at becoming the ideal student they aspired, the more validation I got to keep getting better. And it went exceedingly well that they suggested my family to take me off from the village and move my education to town where I would a “competetive” education.
This is rather an ordinary story. The twist comes in the high school…
High school:
This was my 6th grade. I move to the town. A strange place. Living with my grandparents. Unable to adjust to the culture. Unable to speak English. Unable to spend like my peers. Unable to make friends (rather, almost bullied). A bit of depression and what not. I went from being the ideal student in the village to securing the last but one position in the town. That’s 1st to 47th position. I was still good at maths because that’s the only thing kept me alive in the school. When I scored 3rd in Maths, my classmates thought I cheated and complained to the class teacher *sigh*.
This goes on….until…
One day during summer school, I got to hear about HOD taking our classes and that, he was extremely strict. He came to the class and handed over a bundle of papers (math assignments) and asked me to get xerox for the class along with finishing up the assignment. I was scared to death. That afternoon, I finished the assignment without moving for almost 8 hours. I went to the class next day, handed over the assignment. He flipped through the pages and shockingly chuckles. He asked me “Did you finish the entire bundle?” “I asked you to do just the first page, crazy girl!” This was the turning point. I kept silent and was relieved that he wasn’t angry. But after the summer school, whenever we crossed paths, he would introduce me to the other HODs as the “smart” girl. That I was special and ‘wonder’ful. I gulped that truth that I only did it out of fear…
While this was going on, my parents moved to the town for me and I got better at my mood and mental health. I started studying better. But, I only got to the top because the HODs he introduced started vsiting my classes and the energy went hand-in-hand. I felt the natural energy flowing in me to be better and I did. Surely I wasn’t the smartest in the class but I did secure top 2 ranks most of the time. I was just hard-working with an attitude and energy blessed by my HOD….:)
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Epilogue: This book took me almost three weeks to finish. The credit doesn’t go to anything else except how influential the phenomenons mentioned in this book were used unknowingly by teachers and mentors in my life that shaped me who I am, today. Few names that are etched for forever on my heart: Shalini(Primary school teacher), Sivaji(High school HOD), Surendra(Manager), Durai Praveen(Mentor).
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I shall be writing more about my experiences and the books I read. I also write about leadership, mental health and product management. I look forward to keep them brief and to the point. Do hit a follow if this warmed your heart :)
#gratitude #harvardexperiment #psychology #leadership #theculturecode
